Monday, February 18, 2013

xXxADULTxXxENTERTAINMENTxXx: An Ex-Addict's Diagnosis

PORN is RAPE

Now that I believe I have your attention, allow me to be embarrassingly honest and ashamedly open. I was addicted to pornography for a very many years. It has caused me immense pain and has directly and indirectly inflicted pain upon the lives of those around me. Relationships have been destroyed because my addiction was stronger than I dared admit. At this point, I must apologize to any and every woman in my life. As time goes by and I attempt to bridge the gap between my belief and my reality, my words and my action, I find it necessary to plead forgiveness for not being a Man.

I don't know how long this blog may take, because I have a million things to say about this topic. Even more to say about how God has been involved in the entirety of this struggle. So I will attempt to limit this to 5 or so key points:

1] God Says Porn is Wrong
2] Porn Robs Us of The Natural Beauty of Human Sexuality
3] Porn is Evil
4] Satan Lies, Jesus Wins
5] THERE IS ALWAYS HOPE

I will not go into depth, because I honestly feel this could be a 200 page book if I don't keep it short.

Much of this blog is a result of personal experience and mountains of information I've gone through over the years in my attempts to control my lusts. Videos, books, mentors, prayer, sermons, articles, I have wrestled in this for so long that information just piles up and it is really hard to give credit where it is due, so let me just say that God is good and He is the reason I am Free.

1] Pornea is the word used in the New Testament to describe sexual immorality, basically anything sex that is outside of marriage. Now when did sexual immorality become known as adult entertainment? It is ridiculous to think that the way responsible adults entertain themselves is to be sexually promiscuous. Place that definition on your parents and rightly feel sickened and violated. Those are your parents, they don't belong to other people, they belong to each other. The connection between pornea and pornography is visually explanatory. Simply put, if God says this is wrong, and we believe the Bible is God's Word, the Truth for all of Life, then we need to adhere. We need to change. The purpose of Scripture is to show us exactly what it is we need to see. This should be enough, and it honestly is enough if we truly hold fast to Jesus. However, we are humans and we need reason and convincing.

2] Porn robs us of the natural beauty of human sexuality. Any and every thought of sensuality and eroticism has been perverted and corrupted under the influence of sin. Men and women are being destroyed by the various ideas of sex and the constant pushing of barriers. Women are constantly having their image attacked. They are told they must look and act a certain way in order to please and keep a man. Strangely enough, even men are struck with this same issue. Furthermore, men are made sloppy, lazy shits because they no longer have to work for sex. There is no need to strive after a woman if she is willing to give over her being to him with no promise of commitment. Pornography sends that laziness sky-rocketing to new heights because of how easy it is to access exactly what we are looking for in our dirt ridden minds. We can have any kind of girl in any kind of way and she'll do whatever we want because that is what the website/video is offering. When we watch porn and stimulate ourselves to the images we see, we create a pleasure pathway in our brains. This is biological. Porn produces a short route to pleasure, and we become accustomed to it, even reliant on it, leaving us with NO CLUE what to do with a woman or what Love is or how to conduct ourselves in a relationship. We become endlessly selfish. Men are being ROBBED of the natural beauty of a Woman because of all the false imagery being shoved down our eyeballs EVERY DAY. Women are being ROBBED of the ever fabled Man because the World is promising men all the Gourmet Taste of You for the McValue price. People, marriage brings the promise of permanence. That one woman belongs to you alone. That one man belongs to you alone. ALWAYS. Sex inside of marriage is safe and secure for as long as you both shall live.

3] Porn is evil. Pornographers are not evil. Sex is not evil. Porn stars are not evil. WE ALL NEED JESUS. Pornography is evil, and it is evil because of the lies it perpetuates. PORN IS LYING TO YOU. Firstly, it promotes a fantasy of what sex is. It shows various positions, sexual acts, even acts deemed to be sexual in nature that could easily be considered degrading and/or abusive. Porn shows you the sex you are not having, and tells you you need this. More so, porn says you need to be having sex like these people are having sex, with people who look like this, because this is good sex. Warped ideas of not just sex with multiple partners or genders [or God forbid different species] but even what the human anatomy is. Not every woman is supposed to look that way, and she is very dolled up. Not every man is equipped like these guys, and your penis doesn't make you a Man. When we experience these images or acts, we then begin to compare things in our minds. We think of these things while we are with the ones we claim to love and want to be with. When we begin comparing, we flirt with the idea that we need the highest pleasure and that people are disposable and replaceable for this pleasure purpose to be fulfilled. "She isn't the prettiest. He doesn't have those muscles. She has some weight on her. He isn't as big as my last guy." God looks to the heart of a person, and sex is not the be all and end all of human relationships. It belongs in its proper context.
Secondly, PORN DOES HURT OTHER PEOPLE! It is not a self inflicted wound. It hurts those around us when we can't control ourselves. Spouses are left feeling inadequate to satisfy their significant other, and many consider themselves as the problem, as if THEY are not loving or beautiful or worthy or valued. MORE so, PORN IS LYING TO YOU! Those people on the screen are NOT enjoying themselves. They did not suddenly decide, "Oh, I guess public fornication is my calling in life." ALL of these men and women have souls and families and hurt and pain and problems and PORN is EVIL because WE CONSUME IT. Our consuming of this 'demand' gives financial backing to an industry that is destroying lives all around the world. CHILDREN as young as you dare imagine are being put on camera performing sexual acts. Pornography fuels the 'need' for a sex industry which includes sex slavery, prostitution and pimping. The orgasmic acting on screen is the DESPERATE SCREAMS of Broken People. These 'thespians' are numbing themselves with alcohol and drugs just that they may get through these scenes we consume. Men, these women do not care for you. She is not pleasing you with those sexual acts. It is a falsehood. Pornography is manipulating you into believing she cares that you are watching her, when in reality she doesn't want anybody watching her. If I may go so far as to repeat my opening statement, PORN is RAPE. That person you are watching is somebody's child, and YOU ARE VIOLATING them without their consent or God's approval, and when does God EVER approve of the violating of peoples? Unwanted sex is rape, and millions of sex slaves are forced into a business of RAPE because Man is wicked, perverse, corrupt, and sinful. We must own up to our direct responsibility for the destruction of lives and families world-wide and turn away from Porn. Porn wants your time, your money, and your soul, and it will not stop until you are completely consumed.

Watch Ex-Porn Star Shelly Lubben's Testimony here:
http://www.youtube.com/user/sexhealthuk?feature=watch

4] Satan is using these lies to keep you from being the AMAZING person God has created you to be. Satan is shaming you with the lie that you are the only person caught up in the struggle against pornography. You are not alone. JESUS CHRIST DIED FOR YOU AND THAT MEANS THIS STRUGGLE IS NOT IMPOSSIBLE, IT IS FINISHED! Satan lies saying you can't live without porn. Just because it has been in your life for so long doesn't mean you need it. Satan is lying when he says you need more porn, harder porn, and that you need to live out these scenes in your life or that you need to stimulate yourself to these images. Satan is lying when he says there is no forgiveness from this. You may have to lose your friends, family, significant other, job, reputation, Everything, but to be FREE and Free Indeed in the Love of God through the Blood of Christ is ABSOLUTELY WORTH IT! Satan says, "You can't say no." JESUS says, "Let me handle this."

Watch this video: Sexual Sin - John Piper
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aDlrBQbWaoQ

5] THERE IS ALWAYS HOPE! It will not be easy. It will be difficult and you will want to give in. I have to make the conscious choice EVERY DAY, to say no to Porn and yes to Jesus. Purity is possible, and we are already accepted in God's eyes if we believe in what Jesus did on the cross. You do not have to be trapped and under the control of your fleshly longings. Contentment and Self-Control are truly powerful. The fight is going to be constant and will not be easy, but the light at the end of the tunnel is precious. Look to Jesus and cling to Him, seek refuge in His Arms of Love.

"Those who sow in tears will reap with shouts of joy! He who goes out weeping, bearing the seed for sowing, shall come home with shouts of joy, bringing his sheaves with him."  [Psalm 126:5-6]

"Unless the LORD builds the house, those who build it labor in vain. Unless the LORD watches over the city, the watchman stays awake in vain. It is in vain that you rise up early and go late to rest, eating the bread of anxious toil; for he gives to his beloved sleep."  [Psalm 127:1-2]


The road is long and narrow, but Blessed. It will be hard and hurt and YOU WILL WANT TO FAIL, but if we actually let God's Word influence our thoughts and dictate our actions, we will find the shame of our past is nothing to who we are today and who we will be when we see Jesus face to face. Take the seed of God's Word, His Promise, His Gift, His Son, sow it in your life, and enjoy the rest given by God. His Peace.



p.s.
This is the short version. God is good.
Read Joshua Harris' book, "Sex is Not Problem (Lust is)"
Remember that Porn is Rape the next time the urge to watch pornography rises.
When tempted, visualize Satan laughing at you. (thank you Pastor Nikolas Delic)
Remember Jesus is bigger than your sin, better than that temporary satisfaction.
THERE IS ALWAYS HOPE!
God Loves You NOW, as you are, but He loves you SO MUCH, that He refuses to leave you as you are. He will get you through.
Believe.

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